So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
