ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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