Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
