She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
