i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
