I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
