end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
