i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
