is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
