More tranny stories later!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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