He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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