I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
