i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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