C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
