good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
3 2 1 whiskey
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
