I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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