Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize