Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
