you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We have so much sex to catch up on
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
