So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
