Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize