Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
