Bisexual people are plain selfish.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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