you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
How's work?
Spinning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
