I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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