It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
