I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
