Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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