I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
