So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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