I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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