How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
