saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
