my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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