New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
