home. puking in laundry basket.
vagina is talking i cant
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
