I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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