North Korea, Best Korea!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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