Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
either way he was missing a nipple.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize