apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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