its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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