you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
