hotel room ftw
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
