Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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