I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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