Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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