You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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