so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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