Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize