I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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