Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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