Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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