Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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