When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
