then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I did not marry a roomba.
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