You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize