I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
