That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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