It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
