I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
