At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize