So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
