Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
