david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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