I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
