i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
