I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
