I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
