i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize