she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
