So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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