Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
