She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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