im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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