Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
