i permit you to call me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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