Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
